What is worse, a mistake Witnessed by many or a mistake witnessed by one? Let me explain.
Say you are with the girls at a pub, coffee shop, wherever, and in the middle of a discussion you ask Abby how her herpes treatment is progressing. Now on the face of it a caring friend is something every girl wants. But there are limitations on caring and public discussions about your best friends herpes probably goes close to that limit.
Such a mistake can be embarrassing and be hard to come back from however imagine telling your husband, well I call him my husband but we’ve been happily unmarried now for 22 years, that his mother is an interfering bitch, his dad is a pain in the arse, his eldest sister is a slut and his youngest brother is a drug addled junkie. Of course if you are like me you would use much more elegant terms during the
argument discussion but the idea is the same. You’ve just made a huge mistake witnessed by the one person in the world you never want to hurt.
The thing is one day, it may not be until after her herpes has cleared up, Abby will probably forgive you, or at very least choose to forget the incident, whereas your husband will remember those words for a long long time. It doesn’t even matter if some time in the past he said something equally as stupid to you, the game of tit for tat might have a tally board but the winner does not take all.
I’d be lying just a little bit if I didn’t say that my first thought for an apology was to offer myself to him. However in my defence it was only a short lived thought because as any woman knows you never offer sex as a settlement for any argument in case it becomes the expected apology.
The problem is that when he is wrong I make him pay for it. I give him the silent treatment (my record is 2 days), I’ll refuse sex (sadly my record for this is less than the previous one), I’ll even make a point of how wrong he was when he’s got his mates around and they are out in the Man Cave drinking beer and whinging about their spouses.
Does that mean when I am wrong (sure it doesn’t happen often) that I should allow him the same payment options?
So girls, given that he’s currently sitting out in the Man Cave, by himself, and I’m sitting in the bedroom stewing over something stupid, something that was said which we both know is not true and only said in the heat of the moment, what do I do?
Do I apologise? What do I do if he doesn’t want to accept it?
Do I grovel? Does grovelling make me less of a person?
Or do I wait for him to come back inside and see if the air has cleared?