Ad-vice NSFAnyone

Ad-Vice

So at some point during the night I found myself wondering if I could be creative with the prompt like some other people have done. Most people who’ve read my stuff know I’m a bit risque and even a bit rude but I thought I’d try a play on words, like I have seen done by others.

For the record I promise you all I don’t deliberately lay awake all night thinking about a new prompt….it just happens…and I’d love for those thoughts to be replaced with DevilDollMusings predilection but we don’t all get what we wish for 🙂

After several early morning hours of wakeful thoughts, I nearly slept in and missed my daughter leaving for school, (oops), all I could come up with for a play on the word vice was AD-vice, but what advice could I offer people? Strangely enough in the hours I was awake that thought didn’t jump into my head, but here goes anyway.

My AD-Vice.

I’m 53 years old (just) and twice divorced. I haven’t seen or spoken to my first husband in 20 odd years, although I know he did end up as CEO of his father’s company. My second husband, despite my recent realisation that many of the problems I thought were his were actually mine, talks to me but I suspect if we didn’t have a daughter together that wouldn’t be the case.

I have a 14 year old daughter who blames me for most things that go wrong in her life and for the past 7 years I blamed my ex-husband for her problems because I thought he was too easy on her. While I still believe that is partly true I also realise that my constant attempts to be her BFF rather than her mother did contribute largely to her behaviour.

My mother recently moved (she’s still calling it an extended holiday) to the UK with some bloke she met on a European River Cruise and while I do wish her the best of luck it wasn’t until the holiday became ‘extended’ that I realised just how few people I had around to support me. I knew my own circle of school friends was dwindling as the years went on and our lives spread apart but I didn’t realise how much they ‘put up with me’ and my attitudes until it was too late.

Don’t get me wrong I don’t ‘need’ support, but having it means so much more when you realise it’s missing.

So what is my AD-vice?

Simple really.

Don’t be Asleep At The Wheel!

I wouldn’t dare suggest who anyone should be with, how many kids they should have, or how many friends they should have but don’t ever let yourself be deafened by the voices in your head without first finding out how honest those voices are. For some stupid reason us humans are terrible when it comes to judging whether those voices in our heads are worth listening too. That doesn’t mean we all need quacks, far from it, we just need to understand who the right people to talk to are.

Here’s what I’ve learnt too late.

The people I should have spoken to about the voices in my head during my marriages were my ex husbands. Not my dwindling circle of friends, who really just agreed with what I told them, because lets face it no one, not even your BFF really wants to discuss such topics anyway…at least not until they are in the same position.

The person I should have spoken to about my daughter, was her, and to some degree my ex husband. There is no guarantee of course but had I spoken to them the chances of her getting in all the shit she got herself in could have been avoided.

And the person I should have spoken to as my circle of friends dwindled was anyone but ME, who continually thought the issues were theirs and not mine.

Wow that got heavy quickly, it’s also a massive change from many of my other posts. My apologies to those who came expecting something dirty 🙂 Instead of NSFW this post should be NSFA (anyone)

I promise I wont do it again 🙂