Dilemma

My daily Dilemma?

Why do a I always make the same mistakes.

My life is far from perfect

I’ve made more mistakes, more fuck ups and hurt those close to me more times than I care to count because I couldn’t see outside my own bullshit ideas.

But why is it I continually fall for the same trap when it comes to ‘friends’?

I use the term friends because I don’t know what else to call them, but I have so few I don’t know if they are real friends any more.

I’m still trying to make amends for my last 10 years of screw ups and I’ll be trying for a long time but it’s something I’m prepared to do.

I was also prepared to make new friends, but three times this year when I thought I’d found a person I could be friends with they have shit in my face. Used my fucked up position for their own advantage. Or just asked for advice then told me I was wrong and not fit for such advice. Each time things have ended the same way, a person I was beginning to consider a friend gone from my life.

So my current dilemma is wondering why I bother and whether it’s really worth going back for more.

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